


Run With Me

by TheGreatCatsby



Series: KouGino Week [6]
Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: KouGino Week, M/M, Post Movie, day 6: development or stability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 06:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4818137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatCatsby/pseuds/TheGreatCatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It can't just end there, with a punch to the face and a few short words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Run With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to tumblr user kagari-matoi for the prompt!

The ache in Kougami's chest isn't something he's prepared for. After the incident in Shambala Float, he'd expected to be able to rest and move on to the next thing. 

But he keeps thinking about Ginoza. 

He'd known they must have both changed. But he's always felt protective of Ginoza. He's always felt that Ginoza needed to be protected. The last time Kougami had seen him, Ginoza had been utterly broken. 

It was a strange image to reconcile with the Ginoza he had seen just a few days ago, and he wonders what happened in the years that he missed. He wonders how the vulnerability hardened into what he saw in Shambala Float. 

What really got to him was when Ginoza told him to stay away from Akane. 

He was protecting her. Somehow, Ginoza had taken on the role Kougami had once occupied. 

He spends a full day trying to figure out how to open a line of communication into Japan without compromising his location. It's a risk, but eventually he manages to get through to Shion, who offers him a way to speak to Ginoza, if only for a little while. Kougami takes it. Because it can't just end there, with a punch to the face and a few short words. 

He's sitting outside, smoking a cigarette, holding a communication device in one hand, waiting for the call to connect. As he watches the sun set over the fields and the distant trees, taking with it the humidity of the day, he thinks about where Ginoza is right now. In the cold, sterile building of the Public Safety Bureau, unable to leave on his own. 

Kougami had hated feeling like a prisoner. He wonders if Ginoza feels that way. Even though the enforcers in Japan don't wear collars, he wonders if Ginoza feels the label of latent criminal choking him all the same. 

There's a burst of static, and then Ginoza's voice, crisp and clear, like he's sitting right there, comes through. “Kougami?” 

Kougami thanks the universe that Shion exists. “Ginoza.” 

There's silence on the other end, and Kougami finds that he doesn't know what to say to fill it. Finally, Ginoza asks, “Why did you call? Is something wrong?” 

He sounds concerned. He sounds like he's in the position to be able to do something about it if Kougami did say that something was wrong, even though he's stuck. 

“No,” Kougami says. “Yeah. I don't know. We didn't get a chance to talk, before.” 

“We were busy,” Ginoza says. 

“You've changed.” 

The words hang there. 

“Yes,” Ginoza says after a moment, “I have. I had to.” There's maybe just the hint of anger. The hint of a question: where were you? 

“What does that mean?” Kougami asks. Because he needs to understand. He needs to know what he missed. After years of being at Ginoza's side, he needs to know what happened when he wasn't. 

“Depending on other people is foolish,” Ginoza says. “They leave. I knew that, but it took a long time before I realized that the only person I can depend on is myself. And I realized that the only good I can do is being the sort of person that other people can depend on.” 

Kougami leans forward, swallowing hard. “Gino...I never wanted to make you think that.” 

“It was something I needed to learn,” Ginoza says. “Whether or not you left.” 

Kougami sighs. “I wish I'd been there.” 

“You weren't.” Kougami winces, and Ginoza adds, “But it wasn't the end of the world, somehow.” He sounds almost relieved. 

“But still. You shouldn't expect everyone to leave,” Kougami says. “There are people who should be in your life, no matter what. That you can expect to be there.” 

“Like who? Who would stay for me, Kougami?” 

I would, Kougami wants to say, but he didn't and he doesn't. “I miss you,” he says instead. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“You know,” Ginoza says, “for the longest time, I was so angry at you. Maybe it was selfish. Maybe we're both selfish people. But I don't see any other way that we both could have survived.” 

“I don't think I could've stayed,” Kougami says. “The System was done with me, and I was done with it.” 

“I know.” Ginoza laughs, but it sounds sad. “I know. Isn't that terrible?” 

Kougami nods, even though Ginoza can't see him. “Akane has a new partner. How is she?” 

“A model inspector,” Ginoza says. 

“Oh.” Kougami leans forward. Stars dot the sky now, the sun having sunk below the trees. He can feel the minutes ticking down, his time with Ginoza running out. “Gino?” 

“What?” 

“You...you should join me.” 

He hears a sharp intake of breath. “Kougami--” 

“Hear me out,” Kougami interrupts. “What future do you have there, Gino? Enforcers don't just retire. They get killed, or locked up. The Sybil System is done with people like you and me. We're just trash. At least here, we aren't trapped. We can fight. Or not. We can just live outside of the restrictions of the system. We can be together and not worry about it trying to separate us.” 

“Kou.” 

Kougami realizes that he's clutching at the communication device now, like he's trying to force all his hope into it. “Yeah?” 

“I can't.” 

Kougami drops his head into his hands. 

“I want to be the person that someone else can depend on,” Ginoza tells him. His voice shakes, but Kougami can hear the resolve behind it. “I don't want to be the person who leaves. I can't do that. I can't leave Akane and the others behind. I need to...make sure nothing happens to them.” 

Kougami nods, breathing hard, trying to undo the knot forming in his chest. It stings. Because he knows, now, that Ginoza is past needing him. He's learned to live without him. And that's good. He knows it's good. But still. 

“Do you think you can do that?” He wishes he could reach over, pull Ginoza close. If they were touching, maybe he could convince Ginoza. But he's so far away. He can't do anything. He can't even make Ginoza stay on the line. 

“I have to,” Ginoza says. 

“I guess you do,” Kougami says, trying to keep his own voice steady. “You're right. You...I just wish I could see you now. I'd like you to be that person for me, too. And I'd like to try to be that person for you.” 

“I'm sorry,” Ginoza says. It sounds genuine, full of sadness and regret. “Maybe one day we'll be able to see each other again. And we can be that person to each other. Because now I feel like I have something to offer you. And before, I didn't.” 

“You always did,” Kougami murmurs, his breath catching. 

“I can wait,” Ginoza says. “So can you. Separation didn't ruin us. And it won't.” 

“I never thought you'd say something like that,” Kougami says, laughing. Or maybe it's the beginning of a sob. He isn't sure anymore. 

“Neither did I,” Ginoza admits. 

“Don't overwork yourself,” Kougami tells him. “Promise me you won't spend all your energy on other people.” 

“Okay.” 

For a moment neither of them speak. Kougami drops the last bit of his cigarette into the small pile of ashes at his feet, crushes it under his shoe while he tries to figure out what to say next. What the right words would be. 

“Shion is telling me that I've been talking for too long,” Ginoza says. “I have to go.” 

“Gino-” Kougami starts, but the line cuts off, and his teeth knock together to keep the unfinished word from getting out. 

_Don't._


End file.
